My Single Mom Journey is a blog series explaining my path to being a single mom (My single mom memoirs). Read the intro to find out more. Please take time to express your thoughts about the series or questions you would like me to answer in the comments section!
May 2004 I found out I was about 2+ months pregnant during my annual Gyno exam (read how that went)…At first I was more nervous than joyous for I had rarely thought about being a real mother (more like a mom to my dogs). I had joked around with C that when I turned 30 I wanted to get pregnant but was joking…And here I was 29 and pregnant.
I got mixed emotions from my family and friends — you know even though I was 29 some thought a child would hold me back career-wise. My father was overjoyed…he made a comment of how he never thought I would have a child and how he would have to have “grand dogs” (LOL). Now I had a few family members that were determined that I needed to move back to Kentucky so I would have support and assistance in raising my child…while I had close friends saying I should stay in New York since I had a home and was financially stable (remember I had my own business but could easily find a job if need be).
What was a girl to do? Well in my thinking the final decision was based on what my child’s father thought. For years I had tried to get him to move to NY but he would not do it..you see he had other children and did not want to leave them. And as you will soon find out in other posts he was also torn between me and another young lady. Well he was at first not so thrilled about my pregnancy news for he did not want to move and did not know how involved he could be miles away…but he then mentioned how I could move home (KY) and see how we would work out. He continued to say how he was not sure how much he could contribute…reminding me he had other children that would have to share time with…a bunch of blah blah blah lips moving but nothing serious coming out 🙂
Being my independent self and fully aware of this other female….I informed him that even if I moved him I did not expect us to be together. That I will not force someone to be involved if they do not want to… (Ding Ding Ding — as I wrote those words I realize how I truly provided him a “back-out” option that will hurt me later in my pregnancy). So basically his decision did not really matter since he was not showing full commitment of being an active father.
It took me about a month to make my decision and trust me that involved long discussions with friends/family.. many reflective walks with the dogs…and most definitely major journal writing. During that time I was really starting to appear pregnant, got a temporary job to save up money for the bambino, and had a more detailed ultrasound to determine the baby’s actual birth reveal..
I finally did make my decision though….