Life, Random Thoughts

Moment of Truth – Let the Juggling Begin


My “semi-summer” break officially comes to an end tomorrow since I start classes with my fellowship work.  This means my weird juggling skills will have to go into full-effect.  If you remember my rant last week – in no way is my life easy and I definitely lack my ability to do certain things BUT I signed up for it and the reward is well worth it.  The reward of getting my doctoral degree and knowing that I will be closer to my dream job and ability to help adult learners in mathematics.

To add on to my educational commitments – the craziness of Big K’s extracurricular and both girls creative outlets begin.. There goes my Saturdays 🙂  I try to find things for the girls to do that are on Saturdays since I can never guarantee my availability during the week.  Which means we wake up early on Saturdays and do their activities, run errands, and do some volunteer work at church.  I know some people would be like why let them be involved – well I do not want my girls to be denied to have fun outside of school just because mommy decided to go to school.  As well I think the extracurricular activities prevents them from being in front of the television or driving me crazy.

When I knew I would become a single mother (future post) — I realized that I would have to be able to multi-task or so call “JUGGLE” all aspects of our lives.  It was creative and interesting when it was just me and Big K…but when Little K joined the crew the reality of  experiencing missed or dropped “balls” became apparent.  In all honesty it was rough at first to know that I really was not superwoman and that a component of our lives could possibly suffer.  I did not want to fit the profile that society easily aligns with single mothers.  BUT I slowly realized that in order for us to be sane and have a happy fulfilling life it was okay to miss or drop the “ball”…

You know the balls of — eating takeout over home-cooked, letting the house look like a hurricane or tornado visited us, taking a day where we did not do anything versus trying to do everything at once, and my favorite deciding to not do someones hair to make it to school on time 🙂

So I am sure you are like others wondering “HOW does she do it”… there is no secret method nor do I possess a special talent — I just take it one day/action at a time.  I weight my options and focus on the priorities.  Prime example, we picked up the car from the mechanic today and I had to take Big K to find a shirt to wear on ‘picture day’ so we ate out.  I took things into consideration that by the time we got home dinner would not be ready till late which would push everything else back.  I also get the full perspective of things — I know that my classes will get done by 5:30 two days a week this semester so I will either try to pre-cook something OR our meal those nights will be quite easy and quick like pasta or brinner.  I know that my life will be hectic on Saturdays so I will try to take advantage of my free Fridays to not only have some “me” time but also run errands like the grocery store.

Hopefully you noticed that I said — “TRY”.  There are moments that I just throw in the towel and let the ball stop mid air for it is not really a priority or the other balls are to much for me to handle.. which is where my family and friend support is important.  I am so grateful that they offer to help and even though there are times that I don’t ask for assistance they are willing to do it.  They do not want me to go crazy nor do they want us to suffer.  I have never really talked about my school selection but know that I specifically looked/applied to institutions that where in a location where I knew someone.. I just so lucked out to being in my home state where my dad/stepmother reside.  It is comforting to know that the girls will be picked up from school and provided a healthy snack/meal while I am sitting in class.  In addition to my physical/emotional support I am grounded in my faith so that when times get rough I can easily handle it and make it through with no injuries.

So I am ready for the juggling act this semester — my intense coursework, two big research projects, conferences, wacky Saturday activities, family engagements, maintaining our home, limited sleep, and most importantly being a strong mother for two lovely growing girls!  I welcome the adventure for I know it will be interesting and despite the potential rough patches the Miller girls will be just fine!

Now let me get back to making tomorrow’s dinner, reading an article, and working on little K’s birthday party.


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